Saying Goodbye...
RL Sutton
Yesterday, in the morning we took our tuxedo cat, Obie, to the vet for the last time. We'd been preparing mentally, or so I thought, for the inevitable for weeks. He had come so close to death on Easter, we were sure we'd be making that miserable trip the following Monday. Instead after a night of lying in bed holding him to our chests (in order that we might sleep in shifts) while waiting for his last breath, he bounded right up to the bed that morning as if he was wondering what all the fuss had been about.
So we got a temporary reprieve, and took the time to prepare ourselves. We knew we were doing the right thing... when the time came. We had no choice. The tumor had so diminished his sight, his awareness and his physical abilities, his life couldn't be pleasureable for him, right?
The thing is, that after 18 years of first raising an animal to be a part of your family, then adjusting, always adjusting your life to accommodate his needs and quirks, the animal gradually becomes as much a part of your thoughts as anyone else you love.So goodbye is just not an option.
No matter how much I thought I'd prepared, the sight of our little buddy lying inert upon his fuzzy blanket atop the vet's cold, stainless table as we left the exam room just seemed cruel. We'd never left him anywhere before, including cross country motor trips. Several. How could we be leaving him now?
Well the answer is, we didn't. He left us. He had a trip to make that we couldn't make arrangements to accompany him on. The rest of the day, I was a basket case, unable to breathe from my nose, unable to focus on work, unable to speak to another adult. My wife had to be the strong one. She usually is. Today though, as the finality sinks in, despite seeing him everywhere I look, I'm getting used to it.
My wife brought me a catalog page from a corny catalog of pet items, including some really maudlin memorial plaques. Nothing I'd ever consider...until I saw the one nearest the bottom. Someone had written in stone, "If love could have saved you, you have lived forever." While I wouldn't want to actually own it, I was so glad I had read it. It really helped me sort out my doubts and grief.
It's going to be a long goodbye. I'm not sure I'll ever finish.
Litopia is the winner
Crying
Dear RL,
Gosh, your account brings back memories. You've precisely described the situation when I had to say goodbye to my best friend Phoebe who also had cancer (in his paw). It's been a year and a half when he left me and I still miss him. Not every day, mind you, as the sadness is mostly gone for that's the way it goes. But now that summer is approaching, I walk about the backyard and see the places where he used to bask in the sun. Now and again a neighbor's cat wanders in, and sometimes I think it's Phoebe sending a message that he misses me too. Sometimes.
I had Phoebe cremated but I still can't bear to disperse the ashes, so he rests in a beautiful urn, standing on the window sill, exactly the spot where he used to sit to wait for me coming home from work. I have a friend, an animal lover, who greets him when she comes over. I usually laugh when she lifts the lid and talks to him but I think it's sweet.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I thought I was used to the idea but my tears tell me I still miss him and love him.
Desiree
He was a beautiful cat.
I have a tear in my eye. Thanks for sharing.
Me too
I took Fergus to the vet on Monday after he had a seizure at the weekend. We adopted him from a shelter twelve years ago and he nearly didn't make the trip to Norway with us, escaping from confinement the night before we left. I spent an hour looking for him that evening and managed to catch him, otherwise he would have stayed in Scotland, a stray again.
Couldn't save him this time. When the ground is soft enough, we're going to bury him next to the pond. We have three other cats, but Fergus was the one who liked me and me alone, so I will miss him.
I know how it feels as well.
I know how it feels as well. I've had to hold my Jack Russell while the vet injected him. The loving little dog we got to replace him is old now and she has the dreaded heart cough (congestive heart failure). I will have to say goodbye to another friend before long. My thoughts are with you.
*hugs*
This,yes. I had to send my daughter's cat on the same hourney earlier this year. My sympathies.
I know, I know
I know how you feel. Our Labrador became old and ill, and we had to have him put down. I've never forgotten it. We comforted ourselves tht he had had a great life, banging round the African bush with me when I was out camping, and looking after three growing children when he was at home. You can't do much more for a pet than give him a good innings. The tears are just for ourselves.
Sad time indeed
Hi Richard. I know exactly how you feel. We had to have our greyhound Bluey put to sleep just before Christmas. I don't know who misses her most, us or our other greyhound Sid.
Big Hugz
Emma
Richard, I'm so sorry for
Richard, I'm so sorry for your loss. Our pets are indeed family members. It's tough to say goodbye to them.
My long-beloved cat died in 2008, and I still miss him
I found some comfort in writing about him, at the time. And I came across this poem by Dylan Thomas, which I would commend to you.
Be well,
Sorry you're going through this, RL
I'm in much the same state after having my beloved old Dobe put to sleep on February 23rd. It still hurts every day but sometimes now thinking about him brings smile instead of just making me want to scream at the sky.
The maudlin poem that gets me every time is this one:
"If tears could build a stairway
and thoughts a memory lane
I’d walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again"
Thinking of you and your family. Take care of yourself.
Thank you all, so much.
We're trying to get past the grief and arrive at the memories. Each comment helps a lot. My wife said yesterday, that our cat in her heart is not as good as our cat under her hand, and she's right.
I know the memories of fun and happiness are there, too, waiting their turn to swim to the surface. It will just take some time.
been there
Doesn't matter whether it's an old pet or one tragically struck down by some nasty ailment. Through the sadness, I remind myself: people are like books, pets are like chapters.
Hang in there, RL!